Love Won (Winning at Love book 1) Page 7

  “Whatever, you Keaton-lover.”

  “You know I’m right. Keaton wouldn’t do that to you. And if he did, he had a reason; he knows how you feel about McCoy. I’ll talk to him.”

  “That’s the thing,” I tell her, starting to take down my posters from the walls, “I’ve denied it forever. I know my family thinks I’ll never get over him, that I still have a thing for him…but I’ve been doing so well lately, though. I only think of him once in a while, only ask about him when someone else brings him up. I’m not creeping his social media as much as I had been. I’ve only looked a few times in the last six months; he hasn’t even posted in forever,” I share, not admitting to searching just the other day for a glimpse of suit porn. “It’s taken me years, but I’ve been doing so much better. This is going to set me back, Kam.” I wave my hands in the air. “I promised myself I wouldn’t dwell on him anymore, that I was finally going to move on. That I was going to look for real love. You know, give someone else a real chance,” I huff, pacing the length of my classroom. “I promised I wouldn’t let him affect me anymore. And it was going fine, kinda, sorta, with him not around. Now I’m sure to fall off the wagon. I mean…shit, did you see him? He’s fucking hot. Like a live version of Jeffrey Dean Morgan in Grey’s Anatomy hot. And he’s right here,” I stomp, pointing to the floor immediately below us, where I assume he’s seated behind the desk in his new office. “There’s no way my brain, heart, and libido can just ignore that.” I stop in front of her and rest my hands on my hips, completely wiped from my tantrum. See what he does to me?

  “You about done? Breathe, friend, breathe,” Kami says, laughing. Of course she’d laugh. The keeper of her heart feels the same way about her, they’re just too stupid to make a move towards each other. I still can’t believe my brother has respected my wishes to leave her alone when, truth be told, I can’t wait for the day he realizes he’s ready to commit to Kam. Idiot.

  “No,” I say, “I’m not done. I’m frustrated, and I don’t know what to do.”

  “Well, you know what they say?” Kami chimes, in a mischievous smirk on her face.

  “Oh Jesus, here we go,” I say, exasperated. “You know how I love hearing about what They have to say. Although, I’m desperate enough to consider something drastic at this point.” I lean on my desk as Kami takes a seat on top of the desk in front of me.

  “It’s time to date. No better cure for getting over it like getting under it,” she deadpans, smiling triumphantly, like she’s just figured out the solution for world peace.

  “Are you kidding me? There’s no way you’re a virgin. Virgins don’t think like that.”

  “Please. I’m a virgin, not a nun. Plus, I have sisters, remember? They’re getting enough for all of us. But I think you should consider it.”

  “I was thinking of sick leave, or a transfer. I could beg, claim medical accommodations…”

  “You know you won’t leave. That would mean that he won, and that would kill you.”

  Dammit, she’s right. That would send the wrong message, for sure. No way will I let this man chase me out of a job and school I love! Especially when I’m not sure he’s entirely to blame for my brand of crazy. It’s not like I’ve ever gone out of my way to tell him how I feel, exactly. Sure, subtle hints, and the one time I tried to kiss him in the pool, but all that aside, I can’t fully blame McCoy.

  “So,” Kami says, interrupting my thoughts yet again, “I know a really nice guy, his na—”

  “Oh no you don’t,” I cut her off. “You, missy,”—I point my index finger at her—“are forever banned from hooking me up with anyone. Remember?” I pause, waiting for the memories to click, the ones that will remind her what an awful matchmaker she is.

  “Come on, they weren’t all that bad, East. Besides, this one is very handsome.”

  “Then why don’t you date him?”

  “He’s not really my type. But you guys have a lot in common. He loves computers and graphic novels, and I swear he carries the same Geek Gene you do.”

  “I do not have a Geek Gene! I happen to enjoy things of a left-brained nature, sure, but so do many people.” I stick my tongue out at her. Mature, right?

  “Oh, East, I think he’d be a perfect distraction from Coy.”

  “No. And I’ve got four reasons for you,” I raise my index finger, to represent the number one. “First, there was Richard. Sure, he was cute, but he picked his nose and flicked it, even when he was in my house. I swear, I was cleaning up boogers after every visit.”

  She laughs.

  “Oh, I’m not nearly done refreshing your memory.”

  “Come on, they weren’t all that bad.” Kami rolls her eyes.

  I raise a second finger. “Remember Bill?” I ask.

  “All he did was snore,” she defends. “You’re just being picky. He had a great job, and was handsome as hell.” Now I’m the one rolling my eyes.

  “Kami, he snored so loud that he practically gave me a concussion! It was like sleeping next to a jackhammer.”

  “Bullshit, East. That’s not what gave you the concussion,” Kami challenges, and she’s right. But still.

  “Fine, though his snoring did cause a chain reaction that lead me to thrash about in bed from lack-of-sleep frustration. Which resulted in me banging my arm against the headboard, making me knock my print of Van Gogh’s “The Starry Night” off the wall to fall on top of me, resulting in a small concussion. I still get headaches from that, by the way. So, yes, in a roundabout way, I do blame Bill—and I blame you. And before you say it, I do realize that, yes, you shouldn’t hang pictures up by way of tacks, but in my defence, being single, you do what you can. I put it back up with duct tape. After all, iconic Canadian handyman Red Green swears by it.”

  “You’re such a shit,” Kami smiles. “You know that whole thing was really all your fault, right?”

  “I’ll never admit it,” I retort.

  “Okay, no snoring partners. I can always ask Nat—”

  I cut her off again. “Nope, you don’t need to ask him anything. I’m not interested. I’ll find my own dates, thank you very much.” I cross my arms over my chest.

  “All right, so those weren’t the best picks. But there were a few good ones. What about Seamus?”

  “Ah, you mean Number Three? Seamus who wouldn’t let me sleep in his bed because I might crinkle his Princess Leia cardboard cutout? Talk about a Geek Gene.”

  “Ha! I forgot about that. Well, what about Jesse? You dated him for a few months. I helped hook you guys up,” she smiles, thinking she’s got me.

  “Do you mean Number Four, ‘Jesse the Dutchman’? Please tell me you didn’t forget? He was the worst one of them all! Kam: ‘Jesse, the Dutch Oven Giver?’ I mean, hello? Who gives their girlfriend of less than three months a Dutch oven, especially right after sex? Talk about making my post-orgasm bliss shrivel up and die!” Shaking my head, I shudder at the thought of having my head shoved under the blankets and being held there as I suffocated on Jesse’s flatulence. It’s as if I can still smell it every time I think about it. Never have I ever ended a relationship so fast.

  “Right. I might have blocked that incident out.” Kami stifles a laugh.

  “Well, now that we’ve cleared that up, I can say with 100% certainty that you are never allowed to set me up again. Ever.”

  “I think I deserve one more chance?” Kami whines. “I have a really good feeling about this one, I promise.”

  “You think he’s great? Then you date him. Oh, that’s right. You’re too hung up on Keaton to follow your own advice and get under anyone. Maybe you need it just as much as me?”

  “Fine. It’s settled. You and I are going speed dating next month when I’m back from Prince Edward Island. That gives you a month without me to get under someone or else I get my way—and my wing woman,” she says, extending her hand for us to seal her deal.

  “Whatever,” I say. “I’ll go, but when I’m ready, and as long as you agree to nev
er try and set me up again.” I take her hand.

  “Deal.” We shake, and she walks towards my classroom door.

  “Kam,” I call.

  “Yeah?” She turns back to face me.

  “I’m not going to miss your face at all while you’re in P. E. I. You know that, right?”

  “Sure do.” We both laugh. “Trivia tonight?”

  “Yeah, just come a little later,” I say. “I need some good ol’ bonding time with my brother first.”

  “Sounds good,” Kami agrees. We play trivia every week down at Brass Tapps Bar and Grill. So far, we’ve been undefeated and I’d like to keep it that way, as long as I don’t kill my brother beforehand. “Oh, and promise me something, East?”

  “What?”

  “Make sure Keaton doesn’t get permanently under anyone else while I’m gone?” she asks, a small smile gracing her flushed cheeks.

  “That I can and will do,” I smile. “Now get out. We have a ton of stuff to clear out before we can get the hell outta here.” I point at the door, just as it swings open.

  Motherfucker.

  “Ms. Hatfield. I’d like a word, please?” McCoy’s strident voice says from the hallway, just outside my classroom door.

  “Of course you do. Why would I think you’d give me space today, especially after how I fell at your feet again, right?” I sass. Kami slinks past him on her way to her homeroom, giving me a haunted look.

  I think I liked it better when I was invisible to McCoy Graves.

  11

  Hello, My Name Is Invisible

  July 2004

  “Kids, be sure you and your friends obey the pool rules. And the backyard needs to be cleaned up before you go to bed tonight. Got me?”

  “Yes, Mom,” Keaton and I say at the same time.

  “And your mother and I will be in the house if you need anything at all,” our father reminds us, as if we’d forget.

  “I’ve got plenty of chips and pop in the cabana, so there’s no reason anyone should be going in and out of the house,” my mom adds.

  “Thanks, Mom!” I tell her, giving her a hug.

  “I’ll make sure everyone uses the bathroom in the cabana, too,” Keaton says.

  “Right. And tell your friends no peeing in the pool.” My dad pats his shoulder. I giggle, thankful our friends aren’t around yet to hear that one.

  My parents are letting us have a pool party tonight to kick off the start of summer vacation. I’ve finished eighth grade and Keaton survived his first year of high school as a Minor Niner, so tonight we’re celebrating. Tonight’s party is a huge deal for my brother and me. It’s the first where our parents won’t be hovering over us. This is our opportunity to show them what trustworthy teens we are, so the last thing we want to do is blow it. Out of all our friends, there are only us and the Medeiros family who have swimming pools. We definitely appreciate the fact that our parents are laid back about us having people over, so my brother and I will be extra diligent that the rules are followed tonight.

  “Are you sure this looks okay on me?” I ask Kami from where I stand in front of the full-length mirror attached to wall beside my dresser in my bedroom. Kami and I are finally getting ourselves ready for the party now that we’ve finished setting everything else up.

  “I am. You’ll definitely stand out around the pool that’s for sure,” she says, referring to the new super-cute, super-bright orange tankini I’ve just put on. The one I begged and pleaded for my mom to buy, the one I wanted specifically for the party today.

  “Good. I’m hoping you-know-who will notice me, finally,” I harrumph, referring to McCoy. He and my brother have become thick as thieves over the course of the last year, and now that they’re going into Grade Ten, they aren’t the uncool kids anymore. They have a different group of friends than mine, and they hang out with some older kids, too.

  I’m feeling a little out of sorts and a bit worried. The chances of getting Coy to notice me are becoming slimmer and slimmer, especially with all the older girls starting to try and draw his attention since he joined the school soccer team.

  Sure, McCoy and I are pseudo-friends. We talk and hangout, but only when Keaton is around. And I really want Coy to want to hang out with me for me, not just because I’m the little sister tagalong, and I definitely don’t want him to think of me as the Goody Two Shoes who told him to stop swearing that day in the office last year, the day I’d sprained my ankle while staring at him. I want to have my own relationship with him, separate from the one I know he only includes me in out of obligation to Keaton.

  “He’ll definitely notice,” Kami says, smiling.

  “Think I should stuff my top?” I ask, looking at my still itty-bitty mosquito bites. My mom is convinced I’ll be a late bloomer like her. According to Mom, she never really developed until the summer before going into Grade Nine. I hope she’s right and they come in soon, since it’s now the summer before I go into that grade. Not that boobs are everything, but at this point I’m so flat the walls are jealous.

  “No, that’s a horrible idea. Your luck, they’ll end up as floaties on top of the pool and that would be social suicide, Kleenex streaming out of your top. We’re finally going into high school, we do not need you giving us a bad rep before we even get there,” Kami says, and I nod, having to agree that she makes a very valid point.

  Finally, after another twenty minutes and three more bathing suit changes by Kami—who finally settled on a cute aqua tankini, we make our way out to the pool through the sliding glass doors. The party is in full swing and it seems everyone’s already having a good time. I hear lots of laughter, and notice there are quite a few people in the pool messing around with water guns, splashing around, or playing volleyball. The smell of coconut sunscreen permeates the air, as well as the grill my dad’s just lit for the burgers and hotdogs, which he offered to barbecue for us as discreetly as possible. Scanning the back yard, I can’t find McCoy. After another slower look, I decide he mustn’t be here yet. Damn.

  “Let’s go sit on the stairs by the pool. That way we can see the whole backyard,” I suggest, and start walking in the direction of the wooden deck area.

  “Translation:” Kami says, “‘Let’s go sit on the deck. I can’t find Coy yet, and I want to keep an eye on both the gate and the sliding door.’”

  “Whatever, sue me if I want to be in his direct sightline when he gets here,” I call over my shoulder. We greet different groups of our and Keaton’s friends while weaving our way to the deck across the yard.

  “Lucky I’m such a good friend, East,” she teases, following me.

  “Like you don’t already know where Keaton is, right?” I call her out.

  “Why would I know?” she says, playing dumb, averting her eyes from mine, and looking around the yard.

  “Okay, whatever, Kam.” I let it go for now.

  “Oh, there he is if you need him.” She points to Keaton; he’s heading to the side gate.

  “Ugh. See? You’re totally obsessed. You knew exactly where he was.” I roll my eyes, grossed out at the idea that my best friend is into my disgusting brother. Like always, she ignores me, giving me nothing. “Maybe we should talk about you two for a change, and you can admit to me that you, Kami Sutherland, are in love with my brother,” I try, making a last-ditch effort to get her to confess.

  “No clue what you mean,” she says blandly, as we make it to the deck stairs, stopping to talk to a few girls in our class before situating ourselves on the edge of the wide staircase.

  “You’re so full of shi—” I cut myself off, finally seeing the face I’ve been waiting for. His dimpled smile is infectious, and I can’t hide my own in reaction to seeing McCoy walking through the gate and punching my brother on the shoulder. “He’s here,” I whisper to Kam, not wanting the others nearby to hear me.

  “I wish you’d just tell him how you feel,” Kami says, staring in their direction right along with me.

  “Good advice. Maybe you should, to
o?” I elbow her.

  “No idea what you mean.”

  “Yeah, me neither. Good thing neither of us is interested, eh?” I giggle, taking a sip from my can of Crush cream soda.

  “Yep, good thing,” she huffs, “but you’re a chicken, East. Tell him.”

  “Birds of a feather, and all that,” I say, and we both laugh.

  “You know, they really are good-looking guys,” Kami says. “I bet the chicks in high school go crazy for them. Too bad you won’t be in any of the same classes to pretend you don’t care. You’ll only have chance meetings in the halls or the cafeteria. I wonder if they’ll even talk to us Minors?”

  “Really, Kam? Like that thought hasn’t crossed my mind a billion times.” I turn to face her, giving her an annoyed look.

  “Sorry,” she shrugs. “I just think you need to say something before school starts. I see the way he looks at you sometimes, and I wonder if maybe he feels it, too.”

  “I’m not that lucky, Kam. I’m just not that lucky,” I say, and shrug my own shoulders.

  Her eyes go wide, and suddenly she’s tapping my leg with her left elbow. “Wait, East. Oh my God. Oh my God. Don’t move, and whatever you do, do not look over there.”

  “What? Tell me he’s looking this way?” I plead.

  “I think they both are. Don’t look yet. Be cool, for the love of God, just be cool,” Kami says, as I slowly turn my head to look back over to the corner where they’re standing, trying to appear casual.

  “Holy cow, I think they’re looking at us,” I whisper from the side of my mouth, keeping my lips closed as best as I can. It looks like my plan to get noticed might be working. “I swear, I saw McCoy grin at me.” I give an excited side-mouthed squeal.

  “Gah, they’re walking this way, East! Oh my God, he and Keaton are coming over here,” Kami says, hiding behind her red plastic cup.