My Mind's Eye (Pub Fiction #1) Read online

  ***

  Pulling out of Pub Fiction’s parking lot, glancing at Ryker’s truck getting smaller in the rearview mirror, I can’t help but think about what just happened or about how good-looking he really is. I know I’m not supposed to refer to a man as being “beautiful,” but, hot damn, if there’s a better word to describe Ryker right now, it’s beyond me. How did I not notice the rest of him before? I mean, I saw him my first day, but didn’t get a chance to really check him out, between the growl and the asshat comment to Luke, how could I? Yes, he was clearly good-looking, but up this close is completely different. On top of those killer honeybutter eyes, his face is flawless with smooth, tanned skin and a strong jaw with a light casting of stubble along it and his chin. And those lips…full and taunting. I feel as if they’re teasing me, begging for my touch, waiting for me to kiss them…oh, God, how I could suck on them for days!

  It’s obvious he takes pride in the way his body looks because, man, oh man, let me tell you, a girl could lose weeks thinking about the things she would like to do to that body. I’d love to climb up that man, that’s for sure. Oh, my gosh, where did that come from?

  Holy hell, though, his fucking cut biceps alone could make me forget my name and leave me panting—maybe even begging—for just one lick, one taste, one touch. Seriously, Ryker Eddison is hot!

  I can’t deny that, besides being all kinds of delicious, there’s something about him that intrigues me. It’s like he calls to me on another level. When I think of him, I get this desire to explore why he affects me the way he does, especially because I don’t know him. Is he safe? A good guy? But I can’t lie, despite any reservations I may have, I’d really like to know him, the real him. I’m curious to learn what makes him tick, what makes him happy, what makes him Ryker. The one thing I do know is I need to proceed with caution with whatever I decide where he is concerned. Ever since that first day, I can’t seem to get over this feeling that he wanted to get to know me, too. With the way he looks at me, and the few interactions we’ve had, I think it’s obvious we’re attracted to each other. That is what I think scares me the most. I don’t know him and he affects me like no other, and I hope, just maybe, I affect him on the same level. I smile at the thought as I pull into our driveway.

  “What the hell happened to you? Did you meet a boy? You met a boy!” Claire immediately greets me as I open the car door and step out.

  “Were you voluntarily taking out the garbage?” I tease her, as she’s holding a recycling bin in her hand.

  “Ha, ha, don’t bother trying to deflect, Kitty Kat. I saw your face as you pulled in; you had on your ‘I’m so friggin’ excited’ smile. Ah, Kat,” she raises her hand to stop me from talking, “I know you better than you know yourself sometimes. Something happened.” I can’t hide the smile on my face at her excitement.

  “Nah, I’m just happy to see my best friend dealing with the garbage, that’s all it is,” I say and she smacks my arm as we make our way inside.

  With Claire on to me and Ryker taking up my thoughts, it’s fair to say that I am so fucked.

  Chapter 9

  Kat

  It’s Wednesday and I’m working with Naomi for the first time since I heard about her from Levi at my training shift. I’ve heard she’s really nice from Brooke, who has been nothing but welcoming. I’m not as nervous as I thought I might have been. I’m hoping I can get some info on Ryker from her, too.

  Ryker’s kind of become this anomaly to me. From my experience, I know he’s a jerk, but maybe I’m wrong. After seeing him with Jacob the other day, I can’t help wonder if it’s all a front, the whole asshole gig he’s got going. Maybe he really is a nice guy? I haven’t seen much of him lately because we work on the complete opposite shifts. Thank goodness. I say this because I could see myself giving in to this attraction even-though I really don’t think he’s the type of man I need to let into my life. He’s one I’d easily get myself worked up over. It’s clear he likes to send mixed signals and he’s not looking to get into a committed relationship.

  “Kat! I’m so excited to work with you,” Naomi hollers with a huge smile on her face as I make my way out of the staff room and head behind the bar. “How has it been going? Do you like the job? The staff?” she asks excitedly.

  I quickly tell her how great the place is, how the tips have been incredible, and how I can’t believe I’ve already been working here a few weeks. As Naomi and I are logging ourselves into the new Point Of Sale system, a girl storms up to the bar.

  “Excuse me,” the girl says, “I’m looking for Ryker. Is he here?”

  Naomi gives me a knowing smile, and says, “Um, no, he’s off tonight. Can I take a message for him? He should be in tomorrow.” Naomi pauses, waiting for the girl to respond. The girl just stands there scowling as if contemplating something. This causes Naomi to sigh, clearly irritated; it seems this isn’t the first time Naomi has had to deal with this sort of thing.

  “Son of a bitch, I knew he was lying to me. What an asshole. Do you, uh, can you give me his number? He forgot to leave it with me last night when we were chatting when I stopped in to see him. He said he would call me, but then I realized he forgot to get my number.”

  I can’t help but hope that maybe Ryker didn’t really forget her number, that maybe he’s not interested in her.

  “Sorry, what did you say your name was?” Naomi asks.

  “Taylor,” she sighs, then begins tapping her nails on the bar’s surface.

  “Well, Taylor, I’m sorry,” Naomi says, “but it’s not my place to give out Ryker’s number. If he wanted you to have it, he would definitely have given it to you.” I smile, mentally giving Naomi a high-five. “But I’ll gladly give him a message for you.”

  “Well, okay, but I know he’d want me to have it. You see, a few months ago, we were a thing, if you know what I mean,” she says, raising her eyebrows, “but then I had to go away for a while. Now I’m back. I really need to get in touch with him. I have a welcome back present to give him,” she says proudly, and I assume she means a sexual present considering the way she’s leering. That idea is one that doesn’t sit well with me, though. I dismiss it just as fast.

  “Like I said, Tay-lor,” Naomi says, over pronouncing her name, “I’ve worked with Ryker a long time, and trust me, if he wanted you to have his number, he would have given it to you last night when he saw you.” Naomi laughs, then reaches under the bar for a bowl full of post-it notes and little papers loopily scrawled with what looks like names, numbers, and messages. “See this, Taylor? These are all Ryker’s messages from ladies like yourself. So, as I said feel free to write your info on this Post-it and I will be sure to add it here.” Naomi shakes the bowl, and despite my better half, there is a little part of me that is enjoying Naomi’s cruelty, because in the end, it’s women like this who make me realize there is no way Ryker could settle for a girl like me.

  “You can tell him Taylor stopped by, and you make sure to tell him I have a surprise for him.” She pauses, then points to the bowl. “And be sure to keep mine on top. I’m important.”

  Naomi just smiles. “Again, hun, just write it down and put it in here. I am not Ryker’s secretary. I don’t give verbal messages and I always shake the bowl, equal rights and all that.”

  With that, the girl huffs, then mutters, “Fucking bitch. Just tell him Taylor will be back.” She turns on her heels and thunders back out just as fast as she came in. Naomi doesn’t let it faze her.

  Picking up the pen off the bar top, Naomi writes ‘Taylor’ on the yellow post-it note, and says, “One more ho for the bowl. God, you’d think between Luke and Ryker that they were the last two dicks on Earth, the way some of these bitches toss their snatches at them. Fuck, ladies, have some class, please!” Naomi laughs again, and drops the newest post-it into the bowl and gives it a solid shake. “You know what, though, Kat? Ryker is an ass sometimes and can be a total player, but I have to say, he isn’t as bad as Luke. I honestly think Ryker has
potential. He just needs the right motivation. One day he’ll meet his match and be the man I’ve seen glimpses of.”

  “Um, is this something that happens often? Casualties of the one-night stands coming in, demanding to see the guys? Do I need to do anything with that?” I ask, nodding at the bowl. Its existence makes my stomach coil.

  “Hell, yes! It happens all the fucking time. That’s why we made the bowls. We got tired of dealing with their leftovers and pick-me’s. This way,” she points to the end of the bar, “during shifts we just set them here and direct enquiring minds to them. See, I made a sign to sit with each one then tapped them with duct tape so they’d be all secure and shit.”

  The rest of the shift goes by without incident, and I see a few ladies dropping messages in both of the guys’ bowls, some go so far as putting a note in each. I can’t imagine being that desperate to get a guy’s attention that I’d reduce myself to putting my name in a bowl with a bunch of others. I wonder if he’s really that good? Oh my God, no, Kat, he is not the type for you, I scold myself and finish my shift without thoughts of Ryker and his hoochies.

  ***

  Despite working opposite nights to Ryker, I still manage to get the lowdown on Mr. Honeybutter himself, without actually seeing him in person. This is, of course, thanks to my chatty little bestie who ended up on the same shift pattern as Ryker, and quickly formed a friendship with the man himself. Claire works the bar with him on Wednesday and Friday nights. I’m always hearing about his antics, as well as how sweet and fun he is; how well they get along. It seems she always has a new Ryker story to share after each shift she works with him.

  I listen, trying hard not to let Claire see just how interested I might be, but I also think back on how nonchalant he can be and, well, it confuses and irritates me. Plus, just thinking about the way he spoke to Luke while he trained me—which Luke let slip the other day, was supposed to be Ryker’s job—only serves to prove that he isn’t the one for me. I have yet to see this funny or sweet side of him that Claire claims exists. Okay, well, maybe I saw a glimpse of his sweet side the other day with Jacob, but he’s been nothing but an ass to me. Therefore, I remain skeptical of its existence. My first memory of Ryker Eddison is when he couldn’t be bothered to introduce himself to me, which served to show me what a big jerkface he can be.

  Claire has no idea about my awkward encounters with Ryker, and I intend on keeping it that way as long as I can. Not that it’s a big deal, it’s just that Claire is always trying to hook me up, or trying to convince me I need a “fuck buddy” to tide me over until Mr. Right comes along for my next relationship. She tells me to think of fuck buddies as weekly appointments to help keep me de-stressed and relaxed. Claire is big on women exercising their libidos as much as men do, so her pressuring me to hook up with Ryker makes me a bit uncomfortable because my feelings about him are all over the place right now. The last thing I need is her pushing the idea of Ryker and me hooking up every chance she gets.

  Here I am, harbouring thoughts of Ryker while Claire is clueless as to how hearing about him affects me. Between the memories I’ve stored and Claire’s stories, each one only serves to feed my brain with enough Rykerisms to allow him to slip into my mind in order to torment my thoughts almost daily at this point.

  “I’m telling you, Kat, I have never seen bigger players then Ryker and Luke. They are seriously delicious to look at, like clenching yummy, and I can only imagine what good fucks they must be, especially Ryker. That one’s always fending off the ladies; it’s hilarious when he has to deal with chicks wanting repeats.”

  I sit in our living room one night after her shift, cringing at how this makes me feel. I hate to admit it, but even though I don’t want him, I still want him, but I really wish I didn’t, and it bugs me. A lot.

  “Then, tonight, this chick—Paula—comes up to him, demanding to speak to him, and he reminds her of his rule, pretty much tsk-ing her for thinking she’d be any different.”

  “Rule? What rule does he have?” I ask.

  “One. Night. Only.” Claire says, enunciating each word slowly. “And believe me, some chicks just do not get it. Just the other night, some chick was almost removed by Big Jim for trying to come around the bar to try and make him talk to her.”

  See? This is why I cannot allow myself to think about this man.

  “But being honest, Kat, I really do think he’s great, and maybe he just needs to meet the right girl to get him on the straight and narrow. I see the real him under the player front, and he’s got a lot to offer.” Funny, that seems to be a thought Claire and Naomi both share, why can’t I see it?

  “Like what?” I challenge.

  “Well, aside from being gorgeous, he’s funny, super sweet, and he really does have a good head on his shoulders, Kat. He’s ambitious and, best of all, I heard he’s hung and could give you the ride of your life.”

  With that, she pats my knee before uttering goodnight.

  Chapter 10

  Kat

  “Kat, oh my God. You’re hot and Ryker’s hot. Holy shit, you two need to hook up! This would be your perfect opportunity to have fun and experience the world of no strings attached,” Claire practically squeals, like she’s had the best idea ever. We’re sitting around the kitchen table with our other roommates, Kym, Amanda, Radha, and Beth eating Chinese food, drinking beer, chitchatting, and laughing.

  Claire was sharing a bunch of funny work stories, seeing as she works the bar and gets to meet some pretty interesting people, ones who think she has time to listen to their life stories and ones who like to pour their hearts out to her. I meet some interesting characters too, but the ones I meet tend to try and talk more with their hands. Right in the middle of a story, in mid-sentence, she’d suddenly turned to me as if she’d had a revelation, and blurted out that crazy idea of Ryker and me getting together. Where the hell did that come from, all of a sudden? It was as if she’d finally pieced together some great puzzle in her little matchmaker mind; her brain had suddenly concocted this little epiphany as some last piece clicked into place in her subconscious. And, Claire being Claire, of course she felt compelled to blurt it out in front of everybody the second she thought of it. I immediately feel myself flush.

  “Hmm. Who’s this Ryker guy? And does he have any cute friends? I swear, I’m dusty from living at home most of the summer, and I haven’t gotten out much yet to meet anyone,” Amanda asks, joining this bullshit of a conversation.

  “Count me in, too, ladies. I could use a little dusting myself,” Kym adds, brows raised with interest.

  “Well, Ryker is just this total fuckin’ mountain o’ sex that Kat needs to climb and conquer, ’cause I am telling you, they would be H-O-T together, I just know it,” Claire shares, way too enthusiastically. “And yes, I’m sure he has a whole entourage of hottie progeny that we could infiltrate.”

  “Claire! Did you just really say that? ‘A mountain o’ sex,’ really?” Radha can’t help but ask after she chokes a bit on her beer. “Well, hell, count me in, too, then. I’m not dusty, but I like a good shag, too.” She coughs, still recovering.

  “Yep, I sure as hell did say it.” Claire raises her hands in mock surrender. “What? It’s the truth. Ryker Eddison is hawt! Wait ’til you guys come to the club, you’ll see he’s the perfect specimen for our little Kitty Witty Kat. Hopefully, he’ll have some friends there, too. If not, we could always take up stalkin’ his ass.”

  “Well, Kat, you have been crabby lately, maybe you should listen to wing-woman Claire. She seems to think you’re kinda dusty, too, from the way she’s been going on,” Amanda teases.

  “I totally agree,” adds Kym before I can say a word. “I’d love to see you doing the walk of shame, sneaking into the house all tousled hair, trying not to be seen. I’d pay money to see that!” She laughs, as do the others.

  “You guys are sooo hilarious,” I quip, but can’t help but laugh along with them.

  Unfortunately for me, the girls are enjoying
this way too much to let it go now; they continue to joke regardless of the dirty looks I send their way. Assholes.

  “Are you insane, Claire? No way! Aren’t you the one always telling me what a player he is?” I laugh. “I have zero interest in him whatsoever. You need to give up on this idea right the hell now, missy. Girls, do not let Claire Knox try to set you up. Trust me, you will create a matchmaking monster.”

  Claire just shakes her head, and we all have a good laugh.

  “I’m telling you, Kat, you should get in there—and fast—if you want a turn. And I so think you need a turn, ’cause let me tell you, that man is like catnip to some of these bitches.”

  I shake my head at her. “No way. Not happening, my friend, there is no way I want to be somebody’s next bitch.”

  “I honestly think you should be all like, ‘Hey, Ryker, my body has 206 bones in it, but I could use one more,’ then blow a kiss at him.”

  “Oh, God, Claire, what is wrong with you? You are so crass! There is no way I’d ever repeat that! I don’t really want to really talk to the guy, let alone proposition him! Where the hell do you get this stuff from, anyway?”

  We all laugh. I can barely believe the shit that comes out of this girl’s mouth. Claire should’ve been a guy.

  Standing proudly as she grabs more beer for the table, Claire tells us she thinks it was from an article in Cosmo about raunchy pick-up lines for girls.

  “But, for real, Kat, think about it. A little Ryker might do you some good; you sure could use some release, right? I mean, you’ haven’t been with a guy since you-know-who, and that is not okay, my friend,” she says before sitting back down and pouring her Shock Top into her favourite BrockU beer mug. I manage to steal her full mug and take a huge gulp of the tasty cool blonde goodness, the taste of citrus dancing on my tongue.

  “Maybe you’re just what he needs. Maybe you can be that girl, as much as he’s what you need, which is one hell of a good fuck. Come on, at least take a ride on the Ryker Express: Toot, toot!”