My Mind's Eye (Pub Fiction #1) Read online

  My Mind’s Eye

  by

  Gillian Jones

  Copyright © 2015 Gillian Jones

  All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading and sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews is unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Gillian Jones is in no way affiliated with any brands, songs, musicians or artists mentioned in this book.

  First eBook edition: June 2015

  Edited by Hot Tree Edits and Deliciously Wicked Editing

  Cover design ©: Book Covers by Ashbee designs

  Image: Dollar Photo

  Formatting by Paul Salvette

  About the Book

  Ryker

  She is the epitome of the girl next door, but with a feistiness that makes my dick throb.

  I’m drawn to her like no other. She stirs things in me I have no desire to feel, makes me long for things I shouldn’t.

  This is my game. I choose the players, and I never play for keeps.

  I don’t believe in fate. I make my own destiny. I work hard and play harder. Luck is for pussies, karma for idiots. Me, I make shit happen.

  Meeting her fucked up my plan. Threw me off my game.

  I’m now face to face with my karma. Her name is Kat Rollins.

  Kat

  Ryker Eddison is the epitome of a player. You know the type: Mr. Get In and Get Out.

  He’s all about the chase, wanting just one night. Everyone knows this—I know this. Still, I find myself craving him, my greedy body betraying what my heart and mind already know: he will only bring me pain.

  He’s the guy who girls like me should avoid. I’m smart; I know better. But when I’m with him, I feel things I’ve never felt before. Things I never knew I wanted.

  I can’t deny it … I like the chase. The high is explosive, but I’m afraid if I give in, I may end up losing more than I can handle: my heart.

  Dedication

  To my incredibly patient and loving husband and son,

  thank you for ignoring me while I ignored you.

  You guys are my everything.

  Thanks for letting Mommy try on this hat.

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  About the Book

  Dedication

  My Mind’s Eye Playlist

  Prologue: Kat

  Chapter 1: Kat

  Chapter 2: Kat

  Chapter 3: Kat

  Chapter 4: Ryker

  Chapter 5: Kat

  Chapter 6: Ryker

  Chapter 7: Kat

  Chapter 8: Kat

  Chapter 9: Kat

  Chapter 10: Kat

  Chapter 11: Ryker

  Chapter 12: Kat

  Chapter 13: Kat

  Chapter 14: Ryker

  Chapter 15: Kat

  Chapter 16: Ryker

  Chapter 17: Ryker

  Chapter 18: Kat

  Chapter 19: Ryker

  Chapter 20: Kat

  Chapter 21: Ryker

  Chapter 22: Kat

  Chapter 23: Ryker

  Chapter 24: Kat

  Chapter 25: Ryker

  Chapter 26: Kat

  Chapter 27: Ryker

  Chapter 28: Kat

  Chapter 29: Ryker

  Chapter 30: Kat

  Chapter 31: Ryker

  Chapter 32: Kat

  Chapter 33: Kat

  Chapter 34: Kat

  Chapter 35: Ryker

  Chapter 36: Kat

  Chapter 37: Ryker

  Chapter 38: Kat

  Chapter 39: Ryker

  Chapter 40: Kat

  Chapter 41: Ryker

  Chapter 42: Kat

  Chapter 43: Ryker

  Chapter 44: Ryker

  Chapter 45: Kat

  Chapter 46: Ryker

  Chapter 47: Kat

  Chapter 48: Ryker

  Chapter 49: Kat

  Chapter 50: Kat

  Chapter 51: Kat

  Chapter 52: Kat

  Chapter 53: Ryker

  Chapter 54: Kat

  Chapter 55: Kat

  Chapter 56: Kat

  Chapter 57: Kat

  Chapter 58: Ryker

  Chapter 59: Kat

  Chapter 60: Ryker

  Chapter 61: Ryker

  Chapter 62: Kat

  Chapter 63: Ryker

  Chapter 64: Kat

  Chapter 65: Ryker

  Chapter 66: Kat

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  My Mind’s Eye Playlist

  Can be found on Spotify

  Ed Sheeran – Thinking Out Loud

  Sohodolls – Stripper

  Sarah McLachlan – In Your Shoes

  Delerium – Silence – Acoustic

  The Tea Party – Heaven Coming Down

  Queens Of The Stone Age – Make It Wit Chu

  Paula Cole – Feelin’ Love

  City and Colour – Sleeping Sickness

  Tyler Ward & Anna Clendening – Stay With Me

  Chris Cornell – Can’t Change Me

  112 – Only You-Bad Boy Remix (feat. The Notorious B.I.G. & Mase)

  Disclosure – Latch

  Sam Smith – Like I Can

  Haim – The Wire

  Britney Spears – Toxic

  Pearl Jam – Yellow Ledbetter

  Kelis – Milkshake

  JAY Z – Always Be My Sunshine

  Kings Of Leon – Be Somebody

  3 Doors Down – Here Without You

  Big Wreck – Blown Wide Open

  Hedley – Perfect

  Hedley – For The Nights I Can’t Remember – Live

  The Flys – Got You (Where I Want You)

  Deftones – Change [In The House Of Flies]

  Passenger – Let Her Go

  My Chemical Romance – Welcome To The Black Parade

  Ray LaMontagne – You Are the Best Thing

  Van Morrison – Into The Mystic

  Van Morrison – Crazy Love

  Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros – Home (featuring the Gulu Widows Choir)

  Mark Morrison – Return Of The Mack

  Maroon 5 – This Love

  Bruno Mars – Locked Out Of Heaven

  Bruno Mars – When I Was Your Man

  Zara McFarlane – Open Heart

  Ella Henderson – Hard Work

  Rita Ora – I Will Never Let You Down

  Xavier Rudd – Love Comes And Goes

  John Butler Trio – Used To Get High

  Ryan Star – My Life With You

  Hey Monday – How You Love Me Now

  Coldplay – A Sky Full of Stars

  Hozier – Take Me to Church

  112 – Only You-Bad Boy Remix (feat. The Notorious B.I.G. & Mase)

  Prologue

  Kat

  April

  My ears acknowledge the shrill sound of an alarm blaring in the distance. The annoying sound disturbs the little sleep I was finally getting. “Claire, shut off your bloody alarm clock. It’s Saturday, for Pete’s sake.” I huff in annoyance.

  It isn’t until I turn over on my side, nuzzling deeper into my duvet, I register my best friend and roommate’s unfamiliar tone—panic. She sounds panicked.

  Claire is on my bed yelling at me
.

  “Kat! Kat, come on, come…fuck!” she shouts, tossing my covers aside. She’s trying to jerk me up and out of my bed without an ounce of patience or care. “Kat, I need you to wake the fuck up.” Claire yanks on my arms, and continues to yell at me. What the fuck?

  “Get the hell up already, Kat. We need to get the fuck outta here, like, now!” She uses a force unlike any I’ve ever known her to possess, and it propels me out of my cozy cocoon to an up-and-unsteady position, one that lands me with half of my body on the bed, the other half on the floor.

  “For God’s sake, Claire, what the hell are you doing? Are you drunk?” Without a word or time for me to catch my bearings, Claire pulls me up so I’m standing face-to-face with her.

  “We need to get the fuck out of here, I said. Shut up and move. Follow my lead, Kat, and stay close.” Before I can respond or ask why, Claire grabs my hand and with stubborn determination, leads me out of our tenth floor Brock University dorm.

  Smoke. Is that smoke I smell?

  I’m still groggy, but as the adrenaline from being awoken so abruptly by this harsh version of Claire starts to weave its way into my system, I’m becoming more alert and aware of my immediate surroundings. I notice more and more students, all moving frantically and rushing in scattered directions, vacating the dorms as quickly as possible.

  “Oh my God! Claire, do you smell smoke? I think I smell smoke. Holy shit, Claire, the dorms, they’re on fire!” I assault her ear with information she clearly already knows. As we walk, I begin to fully register what’s going on. Desperation is taking over as I try to inch in closer to Claire’s back, as if being closer to her will protect me. Instinctively, my feet are trying to make my body pick up its pace. My fight-or-flight instincts are kicking in. It’s like they know we need to get fucking moving. My flight instinct always wins.

  Plumes of dark smoke are flooding the halls. I can feel the temperature rising, hear glass shattering in the distance, the crackle of flames seemingly closing in around us; it sounds almost like bacon frying in a pan. We need to get out of here, now.

  “I’m really scared. Claire, please, we need to hurry; we need to run.”

  “Dammit, Kat, stay calm,” she orders. “Keep walking, ease up your pace; you’re gonna trip us. Please, just follow my lead,” she scolds as she opens the door to the stairwell. Finally. Let’s hope we can hurry the rest of the way. “You’re right, Claire; I’m sorry. I’m honestly trying.” There are a few more people in the stairwell with us, all moving in the same direction. No one seems to be talking as we all file in a line behind each other. Somehow, Claire and I lead the way.

  “Claire, please, can we go faster?” I beg her as images of people getting trampled on take shape in my mind and I hear a few more people moving in to join our evacuation efforts. “It’s really getting to me. I can’t help thinking about getting trampled by the people behind us; please, can we just let them pass?”

  “Kat, just stay close and try not to think about it. I’m going to get us out of here. No one’s going to trample us; everyone is just trying to get out safely. Just focus on me. I got you. Please, just trust me, Kat.” She is pleading with me, knowing I’m about to lose it.

  As we walk down a few more flights of stairs, the smoke is intensifying, making it difficult to breathe and causing us to cough. “Cover your mouth with your sleeve, Kat,” Claire commands, and I do it without question. Claire continues to guide us down the stairs when there’s a loud crash in the direction we’re headed. A huge beam, engulfed in flames, falls from the rafters and blocks our escape route. As it lands, it gives off bright sparks. The lights flicker, and a terrible screeching sound begins blasting from the ceiling above us.

  “Fucker!” Claire yells while I scream, the severity of the situation hitting me front and centre. “We’re gonna have to turn around.”

  We push through the smoky hallway, and face a growing line of people. My ears are quickly overloaded with sounds of others in the stairwell. People are starting to push one another, and I hear them crying, begging for us to hurry up.

  “We’re all going to die,” some girl yells.

  Oh my God! The dorms are on fucking fire! We’re in a fire! Watching the scene as it unfolds, my heart accelerates and my palms sweat as I fall deeper into hysteria. Claire is coughing deeper, and, oh shit, it’s getting harder to catch my breath…

  “Fuck,” Claire blurts her voice stern, but steady. How the hell is she handling this so well? “We need to go back up a floor and leave through the other exit door. I think I know how to get us out…I do; yeah, it’ll work,” she says to herself then grabs my hand, forcing me to follow as she leads us back in the direction from which we came. I can’t help but note just how brave my friend is. I almost smile at the thought. Almost. “Follow me, Kat. Stay close, okay?” She stops us for a second, to ensure I’m on the same page. “Others will have the same problem; it might get crazy in here soon. I don’t know how many of us are still inside, but with this way blocked, people are going to really be frenzied trying to get out. And I don’t wanna get separated,” Claire instructs me through a hacking cough as she tries to pick up our pace. “We’re almost there. Don’t you dare give up on me, Kitty Kat,” she says, using my nickname while opening the door leading to the fifth floor hallway. I’m starting to lag behind her a bit as my mind reels at the severity of the situation. When we step in to the hall, we’re assaulted with the smells of melted paint and scorched wood.

  “Claire, we’re not going to make it! We should run for it!” I shout as the lights start flickering on and off above our heads again. I’m following so close to Claire that I can feel her hair tickling the bridge of my nose. The smoke is black, oily and thick; I’m thinking we may need to crawl the rest of the way. You know the saying ‘stop, drop, and roll,’ well, I feel it’s getting that bad in here.

  “Made it.” Claire says, and offers me a small smile as she enters the door to the stairway opposite to the blocked one.

  “Please don’t be blocked. Please don’t be blocked,” I chant in a low voice as I move to follow Claire down the new set of stairs.

  “Kat, stop! Hush with that. It’s not helping. I’m scared too, okay? But we need to focus on getting the hell outta here. No more talking. We got this.” I nod. At her confession I become more worried, because up until now, Claire hasn’t acted panicked or afraid. That’s my job.

  Claire continues to lead us down the stairs without another word. After what feels like forever, we’re barging through the emergency doors on the bottom floor. Oh thank you, sweet baby Jesus. Finally, we arrive safely on the sidewalk, metres away from the building.

  The early morning air is cool on my skin despite the heat radiating from the fire. The layer of dew covering the grass only helps to coat a layer of chills over my arms and legs as I take in everything around me. Standing in my bare feet obviously isn’t helping the situation either. Maybe I should start sleeping with socks on.

  I can hear the sounds of sirens in the distance, and I see our campus security is doing all they can to contain and deal with the situation until the emergency response vehicles arrive. They really can’t do a lot other than crowd control and contacting all of our families. The air smells like a mix of spring laced with that horrible melted plastic smell. People are scattered all over the perimeter in small groups, eyes wide, and mouths agape just like us. I just can’t believe it.

  “God, that was fucking crazy shit,” Claire yells over the approaching sirens through a harsh set of coughs, dropping my wrist from her strong hold. She trembles, her face flushed and covered with a sheen of sweat.

  “You were amazing, Claire. I can’t even…what happened?” I ask with a bit of a wheeze.

  Claire wipes her eyes with her palms. “I heard the alarms go off, but it took me a second to understand what was happening. Then someone was yelling: ‘Fire! Fire!’ I opened the door a bit to see what the hell was going on, and that’s when I caught a whiff of smoke. I started to pa
nic, but knew I had to get us out of there as fast as I could. It was scary, Kat,” she says, tears streaming down her face. “I was yelling and shaking you. Jesus, Kat. Seriously, sleep like the dead much? I was really starting to worry there for a few minutes. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do; you wouldn’t budge. I really can’t believe how deeply you were sleeping. Especially with those alarms going off like that, it’s not like you. Are you all right?” Claire whisper-yells to me as we stand in front of our dorm, the glowing flames of the blaze reaching out of almost every window. I can see the fire’s glow reflecting off the students as we all stand watching. God that fire spread fast.

  I half listen to her as she continues, but I’m stuck thinking: Why didn’t I hear the alarm? I’m usually such a light sleeper. I barely sleep, ever.

  Huge angry flames engulf our residence. Each flicker is a slow, powerful movement intent on taking over everything in its path. Windows shatter as the flames reach higher and higher, and smoke fills the night sky. Seething inch by molten inch, this inferno is swallowing most, or rather all, of our belongings. Damn, I hope everyone made it out safely.

  “Shit!” I mutter more to myself than to Claire, but she catches it anyway.

  “What?” she asks.

  My Imovane.

  I have suffered from insomnia since my first year of university. My doctor diagnosed me with what is commonly known as Primary Acute Insomnia. Which, lucky for me, means it’s not a result of a medical condition such as asthma or cancer. My doctor informed me it’s likely the result of having elevated anxiety levels, which, in my case, makes complete sense. I am, and always have been, a bit of what people refer to as “a stress ball, uptight, worry wart.” Or whatever you want to call it. I’m a stressed-out person. According to Claire, if I were to become a Transformer, I would be called Stressor.

  Since the end of first year it’s just gotten worse. By my second year, having realized my sleep issues weren’t going away and weren’t exactly normal either, I consulted my doctor. The other good thing about Primary Acute Insomnia is that it comes and goes; some weeks are better than others, so I’m not always a walking zombie. This is also why I pick and choose when I take a pill. I’m not a big fan of taking a sleeping aid, as it really makes me groggy the next day and I don’t like the idea of becoming dependent. I usually try not to take one unless it’s been a rough two or three nights and I know I need the help.